You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Randomize
