Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
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The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
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The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Who died my cat blue again?
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