Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
