it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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