The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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