Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
there was a trapeze. enough said
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
