do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
There's even glitter on my cock...
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