yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
