i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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