im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
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