Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
