I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
