We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I supernannyed him into submission
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
