Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We left an ass print on the piano.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
