Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
