I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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