come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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