new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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