Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
