I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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