i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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