Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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