i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
zippers are such a cool invention
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
