all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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