No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Even my vagina gasped.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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