omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
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wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
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Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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