Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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