Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My life is pants optional.
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