I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
