Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
