She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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