3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
