Sry I called you an 8
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
