I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
