Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
being pregnant is like rehab
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
