I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
