if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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