that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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