Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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