I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
