i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
