Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
try to milk me bitch
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