break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
