we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
