I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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