Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
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I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
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The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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