Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
