What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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