im gay
i know
yea but for you.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
