ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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