She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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