...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
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I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
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Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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