if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
