She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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