My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
