I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
