Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
