took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
