if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
