why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
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