ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
